Monday, April 21, 2008

For as much as I know or want...

There's even more that is unknown or uncertain.

I know many things. Most of which aren't helpful on a daily the capital of Chad, where the phrase "winner, winner, chicken dinner" came from, Natalie Portman's birthday or that my friend Jason shares his birthday with a "special" occasion. For the most part, those are all nice to know but in the grander scheme of life...ultimately pointless.

Right now I'd trade all my useless knowledge for any sort of information regarding where my next job is going to be, or even when that will happen. My current job is stressing me out enough, but then throw in that I'm being laid off and might not be able to follow my bosses to their new company is really getting to me. More so than normal. I think part of it is that I've become so accustomed to the way things were at work...and that will soon end. It could also be that I have BIG plans for this summer, and without a solid job I may not be able to do any of it...again. Or it may also be the fact that I'm turning 25, I've never really dated very much, only had two serious relationships and I've broken up with any girl I've ever dated. I am so ready to be in a serious, committed relationship, but simultaneously I'm terrified I won't recognize her when she's there in front of me...or maybe I've already passed her by. I'm hyper competitive and can't stand losing or failing in any way, but my biggest fear is ending up least in the sense of being single.

Maybe it's just that spring is here and that's when it always seems like everyone else around you has someone, but its hard to argue with that statement right now. Especially when part of this summer involves two of my good friends getting married to each other. Psyched for them...but bummed for me.

Then again I had kind of a crappy day so I could just be in a somber/poopy mood. The week promises to get better with meeting old friends for lunch, a few M's games and payday, so hopefully today was just a bad day and things will start looking up. Yay optimism...or something.


mitchelL BLATT said...

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