Monday, March 31, 2008

Opening day

Domestically, the MLB season started last night in Washington, with the debut of their new stadium, and ended in dramatic fashion. However, the MLB season started last week when the Red Sox & A's faced off in Japan for two games, with each team winning one game.

Dude. That's totally sweet. The MLB season starts with a few games in Japan, then the first game within the U.S. is played in a brand new stadium and ends with a walk-off homer in the bottom of the ninth inning. Awesome. I freaking love baseball.

My excitement doesn't end there though, as my two favorite teams, the Seattle Mariners & Chicago Cubs play their season openers today. The M's will square off at home against division rival Texas (Rangers), while the Cubbies play at home against division rival Milwaukee (Brewers).

Both clubs have high expectations for the new year, with the Cubs looking to repeat their NL Central Division Champs success from last year and the M's looking to contend with the Angels for the AL West crown.

The Cubs kept most of their core players intact, including their big four marquee players: Zambrano, Soriano, Lee & Ramirez. They finally parted ways with the once promising, but injury prone Mark Prior, and have moved their other highly praised pitcher, Kerry Wood, into the role as the closer. With the addition of Japanese All-Star, Kosuke Fukudome in the outfield, the Cubs are looking tough in the NL Central.

Here in Seattle, the M's surpassed expectations last year by giving the Angles a run for the AL West crown, but fell short at the end of the season due to a lack of consistent starting pitching and less than timely hitting. Fortunately, the management addressed these issues in the off season. They signed starting pitcher Carlos Silva (formerly of the Twins) to serve as solid anchor in the back of the starting rotation. He should be good for 10-14 wins, as his pitching style works well with Safeco & with our good we are defensively. They also signed Brad Wilkerson to play right field, but Mike Morse played so incredible in spring training that they can't keep him out of the lineup. More than likely they will split time out there, which is great because Morse can learn from Wilkerson, a veteran player, and give Wilkerson some extra rest throughout the season. The biggest move of the off season though, was the trade for starting pitcher Erik Bedard from Baltimore. He is easily one of the top five pitchers in the AL, if not all of baseball, and provides the M's with an experienced, power pitching ace, something we've lacked in recent years. His addition to the team will also provide invaluable in mentoring Felix Hernandez, our young and talented, but often sporadic, number two starting pitcher.

So I'm stoked for thew new season, especially for my two teams. Even this guy at Sports Illustrated thinks the Cubs have what it takes to get to the World Series this year. They haven't won it all since 1908. 100 years. Is this their year? I sure hope so...I also hope the World Series doesn't come down to the M's and the Cubs (though it would be great to see them both do so well) because as much as I love the M's (born & raised in the Seattle area) I'm about 98% sure I'd be rooting for the Cubs. Sorry Sea-town, and Bill Simmons, the Cubbies are my team.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Lucky me...

I've had these two scratch tickets since around Christmas time. One of the LC's in the office gave out xmas cards to everyone with a scratch ticket included. My manager, Gregg, and the SOC, Bri, both won on their tickets. On my way out to lunch Bri asked if I could run by Rite Aid or somewhere to redeem them. Sure. Turns out drug stores downtown don't sell or redeem scratch tickets to I just gave her the $3 that the tickets had won and figured I'd redeem them at some point.

Finally did that tonight. Around 10:45pm @ the nearby 7-11. No joke.

I was cleaning up my room and found them on my desk and decided to just go redeem them right then. Thought about picking up a little snack (Twizzler cherry nibs...delicious) but then decided to just redeem them for the cold hard cash. w00t for $3! While I was waiting for the guy to validate them, I saw some sweet scratch tickets for purchase. First one to catch my eye was this "wet & wild 7's" or something like that. It was $2. I like the $2 ones because it feels like you get to play more than on the $1 tickets. Then I saw this dragon one and about pooped. There is a long, and still funny, joke going with my roommate about how much he likes dragons. So clearly I had to get that one as well. Another $2 ticket. So when it was all said and done, I gave the clerk $1 and I got two $2 scratch tickets.

Waited until I got home, as always. You never scratch them where you buy them. Its bad luck. Got home and decided this dragon scratch ticket was no coincidence so I went into my roommate's room to scratch and hopefully win...and wouldn't you know it the 7's ticket won me $10 and the dragons won me jack squat. Its always fun to win on those, and anything more than what you paid for them is like....whoo hoo.

So basically this scratch ticket win helps counter the $10 I wasted on my bracket at work...stupid Drake, USC, Georgetown & Pitt.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Bus girl...

I have a crush on this girl who rides the 358 and is often on the same bus as I am, both heading to and from downtown. I know very little about her, but the few things I know...I like. A lot.

Here is what I know to be true about her:
-she had long dirty (some brown) blonde hair
-she's roughly 5'6"/5'7"
-extremely cute
-well dressed
-march madness fan (heard her talking to a friend on the bus about a march madness party so I know she at least appreciates it if she doesn't actually like it)
-incredibly sexy voice...slightly rough and deeper than a normal woman's voice (omg so hot!)
-she likes a band called The Format, which is a band the average person has never heard of because they're not played on the radio at all...and I like them a lot so I was like whoa! when I glanced over one day on the bus to see she was listening to The Format on her i-pod
-great booty (can I say that without sounding sleazy?...well I don't care because its true and I'm not even an "ass man" so now you know it really has to be fantastic)

Unfortunately I don't know some important things: her name, how old she is (mid 20s I think), where she works, if she's single & where she works/what she does.

I bring her up because I was having a slow moving, sleepy morning but when I got off the bus at my stop downtown she was getting off too...better morning!!! (bus was so full by the time we got to her stop that I couldn't see the front of the bus where she was) I decided to follow her to see where she worked, and perhaps use that to start a conversation (oh yes, p.s. I've never talked to her). Now it's not creepy bc she was walking on a route that took me directly to work. She ended up ducking into the Tully's a block down from work, so that didn't go as planned...but I know she likes Tully's over Starbucks.

So I have a crush on bus girl. That's her name right now because I don't know her real name, which I'm guessing is something slightly uncommon but not Marissa or...ok so that's my only guess. She's way too good looking to be single (especially if she likes college basketball) and totally out of my league, but even if that is the case, its still fun to have a little crush that makes my mornings brighter.

***special note to the readers***

The 23 questions below were all nicely formatted into one entry, but then when it posted it was all FUBAR (right movie...right?) so I posted each question individually. That will make it easier to comment on a specific question...and I posted them backwards so the first one is at the top :D enjoy...

Chuck Klosterman's "23 Questions I Ask Everybody I Meet In Order To Decide If I Can Really Love Them."

I stumbled across this on another blog. I've never heard of this Klosterman fellow but the questions are quite exquisite and intriguing, so here me if you dare:

1) Let us assume you met a rudimentary magician. Let us assume he can do five simple tricks--he can pull a rabbit out of his hat, he can make a coin disappear, he can turn the ace of spades into the Joker card, and two others in a similar vein. These are his only tricks and he can't learn any more; he can only do these five. HOWEVER, it turns out he's doing these five tricks with real magic. It's not an illusion; he can actually conjure the bunny out of the ether and he can move the coin through space. He's legitimately magical, but extremely limited in scope and influence.

Would this person be more impressive than Albert Einstein?

Albert Einstein was incredibly smart but I know very little else about the man...and he's been dead for like...87 years? (no idea...I made that up) So if I met this real, but albeit simplistic, magician I would have to say he would be more impressive. In the greater scope of human existence, Einstein wins...but seeing as I have never met him, nor will I ever be able to, the magic man takes the cake here.


2) Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that--for some reason--every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt to do this?

Nevermind the glaring physical oversights here...would I want to kick a Clydesdale to death? Absolutely not. Especially not for the sake of a bunch of strangers. And if all political prisoners were to be released wouldn't that also include some unsavory characters that could potentially cause more harm to society by no longer being locked up? As this questions is phrased, there's no way to angle it as having a positive outcome.


3) Let us assume there are two boxes on a table. In one box, there is a relatively normal turtle; in the other, Adolf Hitler's skull. You have to select one of these items for your home. If you select the turtle, you can't give it away and you have to keep it alive for two years; if either of these parameters are not met, you will be fined $999 by the state. If you select Hitler's skull, you are required to display it in a semi-prominent location in your living room for the same amount of time, although you will be paid a stipend of $120 per month for doing so. Display of the skull must be apolitical.

Which option do you select?

This question, for me, is a matter of principles...and I happen to be a man of principles. As such, there's no way I'm keeping Adolf Hitler's skull in my house, let alone put it on display. I don't care about being paid bc its a matter of principles. On the other side, I get a sweet turtle...and I could totally keep it alive for two years. I guess you could lie about who's skull it was, but And even then a secret that huge would somehow get out...information like that just doesn't stay secret for very then I'd have all kinds of bad media attention and death threats from...well....EVERYONE. So brainer to take the turtle (for me anyway).


4) Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla." Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an I.Q. of almost 85, and--most notably--a vague sense of self-awareness. Oddly, the creature (who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at its highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misdirection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

You are commissioner of the NFL: Would you allow this gorilla to sign with the Oakland Raiders?

Of course this question is not just...would you allow him to play in the NFL. It had to involve the Raiders. It's so perfect. It makes the question that much better but still kind of stupid. So I'm this guy (hmmm, maybe that's me in 20 years running the CFL (read on for that to make more sense)) and the Raiders want to sign a 700 pound, highly communicative gorilla....not gonna happen. Sorry Al (Raiders owner is Al Davis...right?) but even a 700 pound ape wouldn't help you win any more games...and what if the gorilla "accidentally" crushes someone like Peyton Manning? Then I'm the one who ruined a Hall of Famer's career by allowing a giant gorilla to play in the NFL. I don't want to have to deal with something like that....oh yea, sorry, maybe that gorilla move was a bad idea. Whoops!


5) You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate's collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear--for the rest of your life--sound as if it's being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it's being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it's being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?

Off the top of my head I can't think of any Alice in Chains songs...I know of them, and I know I've heard their stuff, but I can't think of anything specific or even how they sound...but even so, I don't think I want every song to sound like them nor do I want to sound like them when I sing. I enjoy music too much to make it so uniform and mundane. Sorry hunny, but we'll figure out a way around the broken collarbones...or most of them. She could wear some football shoulder pads, or hire a bodyguard, or learn karate. wife. That might be the coolest thing I've ever thought. Ever.


6) At long last, someone invents "the dream VCR." This machine allows you to tape an entire evening's worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don't agree to this, you can't use the dream VCR.

Would you still do this

No. There's a reason our dreams are in our minds, and thus, ultimately fleeting. I mean sure it would be cool to see what you dream (especially for me since I can rarely remember my dreams) but what if you dreamt about your own death? Or your mother's? Best friend's? Would you want to see that? Over and over again? No way. The potential for scary, eerie & disturbing scenarios far outweighs the coolness potential so no dice on the Dream VCR.


7) Defying all expectations, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

Is there really such a thing as the front page editor? I worked on a newspaper, albeit a small, weekly, college publication, but we had no such editor. It would be a group decision, or the choice of the top Jonah Jameson. As far as the actual picture have to run the Loch Ness Monster. Granted its an international story, where as the other two are domestic, but its the far bigger story. Sasquatch is just some big, hairy the hairiest guy you know crossed with a gorilla...meh. Or the President announces he may have cancer (but at this point nobody would care if the president had cancer and even if we all loved him it doesnt beat Nessie), but then again he may not so its not front page material (maybe a smaller subheading in the top section like they do with sports).
Besides, the New York Times is one of the most famous publications in the world, so it takes the international story because its the best story. I mean...a giant mythical sea creature? That would be huge catch(no pun intended...or maybe it was :P).


8) You meet the perfect person. Romantically, this person is ideal: You find them physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, consistently funny, and deeply compassionate. However, they have one quirk: This individual is obsessed with Jim Henson's gothic puppet fantasy The Dark Crystal. Beyond watching it on DVD at least once a month, he/she peppers casual conversation with Dark Crystal references, uses Dark Crystal analogies to explain everyday events, and occasionally likes to talk intensely about the film's "deeper philosophy."

Would this be enough to stop you from marrying this individual?

No way...well unelss this person was a man. If this person is so perfect in every other way, then their Dark Crystal obsession would be a minor annoyance. And over time, I'd either watch the movie and learn to enjoy her quirkiness...or I would be able to break her of her obsession with constant ridicule (or because she loved me enough to give it up...either one would work fine here :D).


9) A novel titled Interior Mirror is released to mammoth commercial success (despite middling reviews). However, a curious social trend emerges: Though no one can prove a direct scientific link, it appears that almost 30 percent of the people who read this book immediately become homosexual. Many of these new found homosexuals credit the book for helping them reach this conclusion about their orientation, despite the fact that Interior Mirror is ostensibly a crime novel with no homoerotic content (and was written by a straight man).

Would this phenomenon increase (or decrease) the likelihood of you reading this book?

Seeing as I'm not a reader to being with...this phenomenon would have little to no impact on my choice to read the book. Ok let's be impact whatsoever. And I don't buy books for other people so....meh.


10) This is the opening line of Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City: "You are not the kind of guy who would be in a place like this at this time of the morning." Think about that line in the context of the novel (assuming you've read it). Now go to your CD collection and find Heart's Little Queen album (assuming you own it). Listen to the opening riff to "Barracuda."

Which of these two introductions is a higher form of art?

This is a stupid question. It assume you have intimate knowledge of both items being compared here....and I'd argue that most people don't know enough about both or either to fully answer this question. So for me...that opening line seems pretty ambiguous, while the opening riff of "Barracuda" is freaking sweet and I can play it on Guitar Hero 3, so it wins by a landslide...twice.


11) You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that--somewhere--your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.

Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

Again, this is a stupid question. Regardless of the movie, I would leave the theater to call my family to make sure everything was fine. All movies can be watched again at some point, and if this movie had no plot why would you even consider watching the last 20 minutes? I don't know what this is supposed to tell you about a person because it seems like a pretty obvious choice for anyone who has a mother....because you only get one mother. You may call more than one person "mom" but you only get one true mother. Plus I love my mom so I would want to know she's ok. Gosh. I can't get over how over stupid this questions is...sorry Klosterman.


12) You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?

This is a phenomenal question. And not just because it involves a wizard...because that's pretty awesome on its own accord...but this question could actually tell you something about a person's character. I would go about this rationally, unless I had all kinds of money, then I'd pay him like $10,000 just to see how out of control he actually was. But for now, I'm very cash poor, so I'd try to figure out the cost effectiveness of the wizard. If $1 made a random stranger more attractive, but without any physical changes that were immediately noticeable, then would $10 make me 10x more attractive than the $1 made the stranger? Or is the wizard just blowing smoke up my ass and the extent of his power was used on the stranger? Its tough to say...but I'd probably end up giving him $20-$50, something that could potentially produce a greater impact than the $1's worth did to the stranger, but not so much that I couldn't let go of if the wizard was full of crap.


13) Every person you have ever slept with is invited to a banquet where you are the guest of honor. No one will be in attendance except you, the collection of your former lovers, and the catering service. After the meal, you are asked to give a fifteen-minute speech to the assembly.

What do you talk about?

Well if that happened today, then it would be a pretty lonely event. Then again if the room was filled with women, it might be just as lonely but in a different sense. Catch my drift? So seeing as the women don't appear to know why they are there, I would try to infuse some humor into my speech or do something to get the guests play "I never" or something like that. HAHA! With all of your "conquests," a game like that would be pretty funny. Yea...I'd play that game and see how many people I could get out with the first five questions....LOL.


14. For reasons that cannot be explained, cats can suddenly read at a twelfth-grade level. They can't talk and they can't write, but they can read silently and understand the text. Many cats love this new skill, because they now have something to do all day while they lay around the house; however, a few cats become depressed, because reading forces them to realize the limitations of their existence (not to mention the utter frustration of being unable to express themselves).

This being the case, do you think the average cat would enjoy Garfield, or would cats find this cartoon to be an insulting caricature?

When I came upon these questions, this was the first one I saw (they were split into two entries and this one was the first question of the second set, which was done later than the first 13 so it appeared first on the blog....follow?) and thought it was one of the strangest things I had read in a long time. I couldn't tell if it was real, or something stupid, so I was really confused. Now that I understand...I don't care. I don't much like cats, and the idea that they can comprehend what they read is so nonsensical and pointless. So meh.


15. You have a brain tumor. Though there is no discomfort at the moment, this tumor would unquestionably kill you in six months. However, your life can (and will) be saved by an operation; the only downside is that there will be a brutal incision to your frontal lobe. After the surgery, you will be significantly less intelligent. You will still be a fully functioning adult, but you will be less logical, you will have a terrible memory, and you will have little ability to understand complex concepts or difficult ideas. The surgery is in two weeks.

How do you spend the next fourteen days?

This is why I wouldn't want to watch my dreams...but if I was faced with this right now in real life, I'm not sure that I would go ahead with the surgery. Seriously. Technically you'd be alive, but really you're brain dead....significantly less intelligent, poor memory skills, and trouble understanding complex & difficult ideas. I guess if I were bigger I could still play Offensive Tackle for the Raiders but seeing as I'm not that big, that would severely limit my enjoyment with life. I'm a pretty smart guy, with a fairly strong long term memory and I like picking my brain with challenging puzzles, ideas and problems. Plus, any new person you met you would most likely forget, and seeing as I'm not married...that means I wouldn't remember my own wife (if I were lucky enough to still get married), or there'd be a good chance I wouldn't. So I don't think I would take the surgey, but live it up for the next six months. Travel all over the world, throw out the first pitch @ Wrigley Field, get to co-host Sportscenter, go on Conan, get a guest spot on Entourage (seeing as I was dying I think I could swing most of these things by tugging at the hearts of the people in charge :D) and attempt to sweep Natalie Portman off her feet...or at least give her one of those fancy "hollywood kisses." Yea...that would be awesome.


16. Someone builds and optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that—for some unknown reason—you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.

The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?
Wow. I like sports, but c'mon. CFL? I say that crystal ball is on crack. I don't think I would watch the game. According to the rules laid out in this scenario, that future will happen no matter what you do. So if I'm going to end up some solitary, CFL junkie, I'd rather be doing other things now that I currently enjoy...or maybe I'd test the power of the crystal ball...go sky diving, and bungie jumping, and take part in other high risk/high adrenaline activities. The way I read the question is that I wouldn't be able to die...because that future of me in 20 years (give or take a few years) is going to happen...therefore I can't die...right?


17. You are sitting in an empty bar (in a town you’ve never before visited), drinking Bacardi with a soft-spoken acquaintance you barely know. After an hour, a third individual walks into the tavern and sits by himself, and you ask your acquaintance who the new man is. “Be careful of that guy,” you are told. “He is a man with a past.” A few minutes later, a fourth person enters the bar; he also sits alone. You ask your acquaintance who this new individual is. “Be careful of that guy, too,” he says. “He is a man with no past.”

Which of these two people do you trust less?

Is both an allowable answer? I mean seriously. I don't even trust the "causal acquaintance" that's telling me of the past-ful and past-less men. And besides, what does "he's a man without a past" even mean? Of course he has a past, unless he's been frozen in ice up until he walked into the bar...but even then he has a past but he just doesn't know what it is. I don't think there's really a right answer here. A man with no past could be a loner looking for a freind, or could be some psychotic serial killer who's also a loner. OR. The man with a past could have a nice happy past, and have a generally even kealed disposition, or he could have a horrid past of abuse, neglect & terror and could be some psychotic serial killer. If I had to chose, I'd trust the guy with no past less...because at least the guy with a past would have something to talk about.


18. You have won a prize. The prize has two options, and you can choose either (but not both). The first option is a year in Europe with a monthly stipend of $2,000. The second option is ten minutes on the moon.

Which option do you select?

The moon. Easy. Its a once in a lifetime possibility (if even once, I mean honestly its the freaking moon). I like how the question tries to make it a difficule choice because it throws in 24K for the year long stay in Europe. Meh. I'd love to spend a year in Europe, but that's totally feasible to do on my own accord. Getting to visit the moon is not something I can make happen for least not nearly as easily.


19. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why.

Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

Why doesn't this one have the option to not kick your friend? Not saying I would choose that option, but maybe your best friend is dying of cancer and letting them (more or less) sleep to death would be a peaceful end to his suffering. Huh? What about that? Since apparently that's not an option, I would say that I tried to gently wake him up but he didn't even move, so then I tried to violently shake him awake and still nothing. At that point I was worried something was wrong, so I kicked him in the stomach figuring if he was dead, it wouldn't matter, or if he wasn't, then that would wake him up. Totally believable...or I'm getting kicked in the stomach and then that's the end of that.


20. For whatever the reason, two unauthorized movies are made about your life. The first is an independently released documentary, primarily comprised of interviews with people who know you and bootleg footage from your actual life. Critics are describing the documentary as “brutally honest and relentlessly fair.” Meanwhile, Columbia Tri-Star has produced a big-budget biopic of your life, casting major Hollywood stars as you and all your acquaintances; though the movie is based on actual events, screenwriters have taken some liberties with the facts. Critics are split on the artistic merits of this fictionalized account, but audiences love it.

Which film would you be most interested in seeing?

The first one. No contest. While the second one would be far more glitzy, it would more or less be someone I don't know trying to act like me, except doing completely fabricated things. Meh. The documentary would be amazing to watch. Seeing friends, family & other people I know talking about me, and sharing stories and jokes would be so genuine and warm. Throw in some old videos and whatnot...oh man that would be fantastic. It would be something I could cherish and have forever...and it would be real. Now I want this to happen...damn these questions.


21. Imagine you could go back to the age of five and relive the rest of your life, knowing everything that you know now. You will reexperience your entire adolescence with both the cognitive ability of an adult and the memories of everything you’ve learned form having lived your life previously.

Would you lose your virginity earlier or later than you did the first time around (and by how many years)?

This is weird because I was talking about this scenario (going back in time with all the knowledge and memories I have now (but it was to jr high/high school)) with my boss earlier this week. We were both commenting on how different we would've handled things. So while the scenario for this question is great, the actualy question is stupid and non-applicable. I've not lost my virginity yet, but don't see it as that big of a deal to where going back in time and losing it sooner or later would have any affect whatsoever. Now if I get to be 40, and I'm the spitting image of Steve Carrell in the "40 Year Old Virgin" then the answer would be sooner...but then again I'm not nearly as nerdy as he was in that movie...stupid hypothetical sex questions.


22. You work in an office. Generally, you are popular with your coworkers. However, you discover that there are currently two rumors circulating the office gossip mill, and both involve you. The first rumor is that you got drunk at the office holiday party and had sex with one of your married coworkers. This rumor is completely true, but most people don’t believe it. The second rumor is that you have been stealing hundreds of dollars of office supplies (and then selling them to cover a gambling debt). This rumor is completely false, but virtually everyone assumes it is factual.

Which of these two rumors is most troubling to you?

My first instinct was to say the stealing to cover gambling debts, because it makes me look out of control with my life...but then again so does sleeping with a married woman...and could get me fired and/or thrown in jail for stealing company property. After thinking about it though, it would be far worse to be thought of as an adulterer (is that even a word?) than a thief with a gambling problem. I don't want to be viewed as immoral or morally corrupt. If people want to think I'm stealing staplers and copy paper, that's far less damaging and would be a lot easier to prove that I was innocent.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


23. Consider this possibility:
a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.
b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.
c. Now, imagine that this person—the unfamous John Ritter—is a character in a situation comedy.
d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.
e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life.

In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about our life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.

Ok I considered that. I also was talking about John Ritter the other day with my boss. This is getting eerie. John Ritter seemed like a nice, funny, loving man. I think he'd be a great dad. What was the point of this "question"...? There is no question.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

It's official and yet nothing has really changed...

I found out from my boss today that my team officially doesn't qualify for an assistant. This comes as no surprise to any of the three of us (me, Fred & Jason (father & son)), but up until this point we had not seen or heard anything to confirm what we already knew. So yes its now official but even though no "end date" has been given, I think that makes it worse. Before today we all knew, but without any official notice from the powers that be we could all keep on working like nothing was different...and as a result my imminent job loss was more distant. In reality nothing has changed, but finally getting the official word makes it so much more real and looming.

When all of the assistants heard about the review that would determine if we kept our jobs or not, we were angry but did our best to joke about it to put up a happier facade. Over the past few weeks we joked even more how the end of the month meant the end of our jobs. I do know that March 31st is not the end, but I still don't know know when that day is...and to be perfectly honest, its pissing me off something fierce.

Thankfully I have been actively seeking new employment so when my time here at the HLC ends, I will hopefully have something new to quickly transition into (boo ending a sentence with a preposition. oh 'into' a preposistion?...dangit...Natalie would know...but I don't think she'd answer her cell at work...frick). Unfortunately I don't have anything too promising lined up, and my two best leads for Boeing have fallen short of their initial promise, but I did get some helpful tips for getting passed their electronic submission process.

When you apply at Boeing you submit a resume, answer a few personal info questions, then you are "under consideration"...which basically means thanks for submitting your application, go screw yourself. No need to sugar coat anything here. You submit your stuff, then apparently it gets filtered electronically then gets passed along to a hiring manager. I'm not even sure if my applications have ever been seen by a real person, which makes it impossible to get hired. Luckily I've made contact with this guy who used to work for Boeing. He knows how the process works and how to "beef up" my resume to catch a real person's eye and then hopefully land an interview. I feel pretty confident that if I land an interview, I'll be a Boeing employee.

So those are my employment frustrations....both with how my current company is handling its decision to fire me (based solely on qualification guidelines) and how difficult it is to get passed the electronic sorting function of Boeing's application process.

...and speaking of work that's where I am right now, typing this. Ooooooooooooooooo. I know. Rebel. Suck it WaMu....or something. haHA! yea...if I was going to be here indefinitely I might start a recurring "adventures at the front desk" subdivision (what?!) to my blog, seeing as I cover the front once a week. Then again, its never all that exciting out here...that I can talk about :P

ooooooh...the plant lady is here right now tho. Flying solo today but I've seen her come with someone else. An assistant maybe...which is ridiculous because watering 12 office plants really requires at least a six person team (LOL). She shows up (probably on some regular interval but I haven't paid that much attention) to water and groom the plants. LOL. Yes, groom the plants. I thought they were all fake when I first got here but nope. By grooming I mean she picks off the dead leaves and dusts them or whatever. Makes them nice and pretty. OMG ROTFL. I can't take it seriously. She has this massive utility belt/work fanny pack thing around her waist to hold all her plant care gear. I kid you not. Spray bottles, rags, pouch for dead leaves, and whatever else she may need. Its actually funnier the more I think about it. I wonder how much she gets paid? I wonder if WaMu would pay me like $20 a week/month to water the plants as often as she does. Weak. I wonder if she costs too much so that's why I'm getting fired. Hope not...but it is WaMu so you never know...

At least my iced tea was everything I was hoping it would be.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

One blog. Two blog? Three blog? Twelve.

I came across a nice treat today whlie looking at the blogs of note. One in particular is the "foodie" blog, but the author has another blog that I find fascinating because I've wanted to do something very similar for quite some time now. Over the past few years I go through quick spurts where I have this very strong urge to find, purchase & being using a Polaroid camera. I don't even know if you can buy new ones anymore. And I'm sure finding film isn't terribly easy or cheap...but then again I've not done a ton of research. I just get these intense, but fleeting urges to Polaroid it up. Probably not going to happen soon (seeing as I'm getting a one week paycheck this friday instead of the normal two weeks bc I'm some kind of stupid and forgot to enter the 2nd week...unreal) but I would really like to get my hands on a fully functioning Polaroid and, as Rob & Big would say, "do work!"

Maybe starting my photographic Polaroid journey would solve this, but I've also had this urge to a running motif in my blog. Something like "(thing) of the day/week/ month/etc," but nothing has grabbed me yet. I've seen some clever ideas, like a blog devoted entirely to what's in the blogger's pockets at the end of the day/when they sit down to blog...or the daily haiku blog...or the foodie blog that includes a "drink of the week" as part of her ongoing efforts to becoming a foodie (which she clearly already is but meh).

Based on my posting history, and knowing my own limitations, I don't think a daily diddy is going to happen, but I do rather like the idea of "(insert great idea here) of the week." I did have the idea to start an "at work" blog in which I would only post at work and/or post about things that happened at work...where it happened to me, or someone else, or whatever. That could be pretty entertaining. Today's entry might look something like this...

As usual Ben came over to take his 10 shots on my nerf hoop, and (unfortunately) as usual did significantly better than I did....Ben: 9/10, Self: 5/10....what was much more fun and new (but hopefully a recurring thing) was our rendition of the game "horse," which we called Whoo hoo (in honor of WaMu's new stupid slogan...and so we could joke that it was a "work function." lol.) Not sure why that idea never came to be until now....but seeing as there are no loans to acquire, maintenance, board, fund, or even watch get screwed up by processing, we have more time to goof off. was a lot of fun and I ended up winning "Whoo hoo" to "Whoo ho." Yep. I'm a Whoo ho but a winner nonetheless.

Maybe I'll start a blog based on the games I play at work. Whoa. (that one's for you Pomona :D) Then again I'm not sure I'll find another job that will allow me to have a nerf basketball hoop at my desk...I guess we'll wait and see.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Nike has it right...

You all know what I mean by that. You have to...right? We've all spent the last 10-15 years in front of the tv, surfing the web, driving passed giant billboards & being bombarded with everything from miracle diet pills to Nike shoes that sync with your i-pod to do something ridiculously awesome. The world is in a perpetual media frenzy and we're just lucky enough to make it through the day without going crazy and ending up on CNN in a white Bronco speeding down a California highway...and that's a little extreme...and, as is often the case with me, I am digressing from my point.

If you clicked on that Nike link you weren't sent to a fancy flash website with professional athletes modeling the latest in sports fashion and oozing with disgusting amounts of sex appeal and cool. Instead you were sent to a lesser known Nike website...that of its origin. Nike was a Greek goddess who symbolized triumph and who's name literally translates to victory.

And you thought they were just a shoe company with a strange, but cool name. Ha.

So what does an ancient Greek goddess have to do with all of this? With me? Not much actually, other than what she stood for is cleverly embodied in Nike's most famous slogan: Just do it.


My roommate left for Europe on Friday morning and that has left me plenty of time to let my mind wander (yea [its] the wanderer....[it] goes around, around, around...). And again, as is quite typical with me, recent movie views have triggered my neural synapses (!) to open the floodgates of thought. Maybe I'm editorializing this too much....nah!....ok maybe just a little. :)

I watched Martian Child, which was outstanding, and Just Friends, which isn't on par with the first (at least not intellectually) but funny nonetheless. In Martian Child, some of the more prevalent motifs are "never give up", "be yourself", and "its never too late to tell someone how much they mean to you." Oddly enough Just Friends has the same thematic elements but presents them in a more comedic fashion, where Martian Child uses snippets of comedy to wonderfully offset the intense drama and serious tone of the film.

How does this relate to me? As in "me" the person who reads this or "me" as in the person typing this? Huh? (Here's a hint: either one works fine)

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I know that I am constantly bargaining and making deals with myself...."after I eat this frozen pizza for dinner, I'm going to start eating healthier" or "as soon as the weather gets nicer I'll be more active" or "today I'm going to actually call people at work and try to bring in more business." Any of those ring true? They may not, but I bet you have your own inner barrage of compromises and procrastination. Or sometimes its not so personal and private...and you continue to promise an update on a trip to Vegas that happened over two months ago now. :P

Many things led me to really start thinking about how often this happens....including my looming termination of employment....which has forced me to start looking for new jobs and ponder that infamous "What is one of your weaknesses and how are working to turn that into a strength?" interview question. What a bunch of crap. I was just thinking what a stupid question that is, and how it would be so great to say that when asked the question. I am full of weaknesses and areas that need work. We all are. If we answered that question with full honesty, we wouldn't get hired 90% of the time. What are my weaknesses? I'm not a morning person, so I tend to be a few minutes late....I tend to do the bare minimum, just enough to keep everyone happy but never really striving for more....I like to create elaborate excuses (aka lies) for why certain things don't get done, or why certain results weren't achieved, or why I simply didn't make it into work today. YIKES!!! That's not going to get me hired anywhere. No instead they want to hear some bull**** line about how "I tend to pay too much attention to the details, so I'm learning to still be detailed oriented but combining that with effective time management." Congratulations we'd like to offer you the liar.

Bringing this all back to me and why I felt to compelled to express all this at 12:28 in the morning instead of going to I can wake up on time and get to work on time (damnit, I'm a hypocrite!).


So...I don't know what I want to do with my life, as far as my professional career is concerned...and I'm ok with that fact. Knowing what you want to do with your life is great. Getting to do what you want to is fantastic. Knowing you are doing what you want to do, and absolutely loving it is amazing. For now though, not knowing is good enough....because I know that while I wander aimlessly through the corporate jungle of business & finance I'm going to surround myself with people I love....and that is phenomenal. In Martian Child, John Cusack's character says something to the effect of "...weird is reaching out to someone, expecting nothing in return, but simply doing it because you care." I just butchered the line but think I was able to at least capture the essence of what he was trying to say.

So here I sit (haha I'm not standing), not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life...but find myself strangely content with that idea (at least for the time being) because I know with absolute certainty, who I want in my life....and its quite the lengthy list because I've managed to meet some extraordinary people....not extraordinary in what they've done (though I know a few of those too) but more so with who they are. I do a terrible job of keeping in touch with people, and letting them know how much I care...or at least I feel I don't do it enough. So while I may continue to barter within myself for that extra scoop of ice cream, I am going to fight like hell (inside myself, mind you) to keep my friends close, and my family (and "family" :D) even closer.

Oddly enough its that (now infamous) third night in Vegas that I am thinking of right now. Someone I had recently met for the first time was asking me about my tattoo and if it had any special significance. I told her each of the four letters stood for the first names of my mother, father, sister & family. She commented on how nice or special that was, and I remember (very clearly) saying..."well they're all I have." Not to say I don't have plenty of other wonderful things in my life, because I do and am forever grateful. What I meant was so much in life is fleeting and temporary, but you will always have your family...however that manifests for you....whether its a mother, father & siblings or your children or close friends or a pet....your family is whatever makes you feel safe, happy & strong and that is something that you can never lose.

Monday, March 10, 2008

When you don't sleep enough your eyes play tricks with your head...

Now wouldn't that be an interesting idea for a would also be hell to endure...but I got $20 that says it would be an entertaining read. Too bad for you that same $20 says there's no way in hell I'd ever start such a "journey." Not sleeping is a bad idea. I've done it a few times. Never more than two days, but believe me that was plenty. I've heard after 72 hours your brain/body start shutting down on you...or at least start heavily demanding sleep. I bring all this up because my weekend looked like this:

-Friday night: leave work early bc the bosses were both at a meeting that was running extremely late down in Burien or Renton or somewhere when one called to have me shut down his computer I took that as leaving early would be jsut fine. Too bad I can't remember what else I did. I feel like I went and did I don't think I did. Stayed up until 4am though.

-Saturday afternoon: get up around 2pm. Yikes. I knew I was screwed that night. Not gonna be able to sleep at any kind of a resonable hour. Damnit. Roommate was gone when I got up so I just chilled at home. Played lots of XBOX and was basically worthless. Later on, around what I thought was 2am, my friend Shannon calls. Haven't talked to her in a few months and it was real late so I was She didn't sound drunk but she must have been. Here's what that conversation looked like (her responses in italics):

"Hey Shannon, what's up?"

"Not much, what are you up to?"

"Just chillin at home....'bout to watch a movie. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Its Saturday night...and its not that late?

"Its almost 2am."

"You mean 3am?"

"Damnit. I forgot about day light savings. Now its even later...why are you still up?"

"Yea it is....I always stay up for day light savings. You gotta do it."

"Haha. Sure...that's why I'm still up."

"You aren't giving very detailed responses."

"You aren't asking very intricate questions."

***lost connection***

It was very strange. Oh well. Bad reception on the cell at home. Watch a movie (Monster's good) and then after checking email/facebook/mysapce it was nearly 5am. DAMN!

-Sunday morning: force myself to get up (actually set my freaking alarm clock on the weekend...I hate when I have to do that) so that I could get to sleep at a decent hour for work the next morning. So five hours or so of sleep. After 10 the night before, you'd think 7.5 average for the two nights would be enough. Nope. Watched some basketball, played some more XBOX, went to the Thunderbirds hockey game with Sizer & Diesel. Good times. Randomly ran into some old family friends from church, Devin & Greg Bjorn. It was strange. Greg is all grown up now. It was cool though. Chatted for a bit then continued on our ways. Also saw Kyle Paulsen. He's all grown up too...he's the younger brother of a good friend of mine from way back in the preschool. What?!? He's also the youngest of two (Lisa being the oldest and my way old friend) children of my dentist. Strange, huh? Went back home and played some Grif Ball on Halo 3. Sweet new game mode. I won't go into too much detail bc if you have Halo, you've played, if you don't...then you probably don't care :) Played some other XBOX games then managed to get to bed around 3:30 in the FREAKING MORNING. Usually get up ar 6:30am for work. Yikes!!! Slept in until about 8:05 and after waiting forever for the bus got to work around 9:50, which is only about an hour and a half late (8:30 start time). Meh. Bosses were like....we didn't see you but now you're here....ok good. Still left (whoa this blog will be dated for before when I left work but I'm finishing it up a day later...SHA-ZAM!)

I gotta stop starting posts then finishing them up days...or even weeks after the fact. Makes it impossible to regain that train of thought from the original post. I even left myself little notes and subjects to talk about when I revisited this entry but it doesn't help too much now. Oh well. Doesn't make much sense to jump into anything current either, so how about we just wrap this up and start a new post....that
I probably won't finish until April...or August?