Monday, October 13, 2008

So sleepy...

Warning...I'm about to whine about not getting enough sleep this weekend even though I can sleep in tomorrow, and tuesday, and wednesday, and...just FYI.

I had a good weekend. And yes, I did not get to sleep past 8:30 on either day so I'm quite sleepy.

As much fun as it is to recount my weekend, that's not what this blog is about. I had a good time with some friends, and got to attend the (sadly disappointing) Seahawks game with a friend I hadn't seen in a very fun weekend indeed.

This evening I finally had some time to myself, and while I did spend some of it passing out in the recliner, then the sofa, then the floor (amazing chili cheese nachos induced coma/not enough sleep the night before), I also just zoned out in front of the TV and let my mind wander. I still feel like my brain is in overdrive and I'm not sure why. Well I have plenty of things going on to keep my mind busy, but I'm not sure what triggered it this evening. Typically a movie, or a good talk with someone will get the ol' noggin thinking but it was just me and bad TV tonight. So I'm still puzzled with why my mind is racing right now...

Perhaps life is a giant game of chess. There's lots of different "pieces" to life and right now I feel like the pieces are scattered in the dark. I can't see where everything is, and because of that I don't know which moves to make, or which pieces to move. That sounded far too doom &l gloom. Just trying to speak metaphorically about my life right now and how there's so much uncertainty surrounding me. Seems like that's all I post about anymore, but hopefully some of those pieces will start "falling into place" or at least start moving in the right direction.

For me right now, I'm not entirely sure what that right direction is but I do believe that it means moving. I'm hoping this will happen by the end of November, but I need a job first before I can move so first things first. If you do know of any great places (looking to live alone for the first time!), please let me know. I'm really hoping that this struggle to get a new job (to even find the motivation to get off my ass and look for work) is the biggest obstacle, and that the other things will start falling in place after I clear that first hurdle. Not saying that I expect things to magically work out for me, or that it will be easy, but I have this feeling. A feeling that involves me kicking my own ass even harder than I have been (or have been trying to do), and how that's going to translate to good things...a new, enjoyable job, a new place to live, a new sense of positive change.

Maybe step one wasn't finding a new job...maybe it was getting a positive outlook for what's to come. I've not necessarily been negative, but I've definitely not bee overly optimistic. Just kind of "meh" about it all. Well tomorrow is the start of a new week, filled with new opportunities and I think a positive outlook is about as good a start as I could have hoped for :)

1 comment:

Katie said...

Nice chess metaphor.

I'll let you know if I hear of any awesome jobs in Portland! :)