So my facebook status currently says I've got "it" figured out. And if I really don't then I at least feel like I've got "it" figured out for the time being. At some point last night it just hit me...rather suddenly. I realized that for almost everything in my life...the only thing ever standing between what I want and what I actually end up with is me. I'm great at getting in my own way...at preventing myself from getting or at least going after the things I really want or need.
For example...I need to find a new place to live by the end of next month and I've done very little to make that happen. A friend of mine even emailed me some places that I was excited about and yet I haven't even so much as written down the contact info so that I could get the ball rolling.
This has also applied itself rather substantially to my love life or lack thereof. I don't have much self confidence when it comes to meeting new women. I'm terrified of rejection too so I hide behind that far too well. Typically I don't meet any new ladies or I'm too afraid to ask out the ones I do know and would like to go out with. I'm pretty handy with excuses too and can more or less talk my way out of not doing anyhing. Weak sauce!
Lastly this has major implications with my career path and current job. I settle far too easily. I find something easy and comfortable and stick with it even if I don't like it. I'm afraid to put myself out there for something new and better because I might fail. Work has actually been better lately...mostly because I've actually been making an effort to do my job better. Hmmmmm. It's encouraging to see that putting forth a little extra effort has paid off. I'm not sure how much longer I will stay with my current job, but it's nice to know that success (even a small amount of it) is possible if I just go for it.