Pray like this...

No. I am not going to tell you how to pray. I have no business telling you how to pray. I know no better than you. I do know what you should be praying though. And I bet you probably know the prayer, even if you've forgotten what it really means to pray this prayer. I'm talking about the Lord's Prayer. We've been talking, well Jim has been preaching about it, over the past several weeks and will continue for the next several weeks until we've dissected the entire prayer.

Jim, the lead pastor, has encouraged us to pray the Lord's Prayer every day, if not two or three times a day. To find that quiet place, that calming, tranquil place without interruption. For some its a familiar chair, or a quiet bench in a park, or perhaps even a few quiet moments to yourself when you get in to work first thing in the morning. I haven't found that place yet...but to be honest I haven't exactly been looking for it. I should. I need to. I want to.

This last Sunday we came to the part of the prayer that asks "give us this day our daily bread." Pretty simple request. Please provide enough for me to make it through the day. Enough. Not please give me a week's worth of food, not a month's worth, not a year's worth, but simply enough for today. If we had more than what was needed today then we'd have this invisible security blanket of knowing that we had enough for the year, month, or week. That on the first of the month, or on Monday morning we'd have more than we needed for today. Daily is the key here. Enough for today. No excess, no extra, no reserves...just a sufficient amount for this day, for today. Can you imagine if we truly lived our lives day to day? Anyone reading this probably has no idea what that's like...at least not firsthand...and definitely not actually living it. Instead, we as Americans live our lives in excess. Even the most devout, humble and selfless of us live in excess.

It is the American way if ever there was one for the new millennium. Sure we now have hybrid cars, but they fit seven people (when we only have a family of three or four), and come loaded with CD, MP3, AC, DVD, GPS, ABS, sun roof, power windows, power seats, cruise control, heated seats, high performance sound systems, removable third row seating...and so much more. Are those features nice? Sure. Do we really need them all just to meet our daily needs? No, but we like that the options are available to us on a daily basis.

Funny thing that since I started this post I've been all googly-eyed over the iPhone. Talk about excess!!! I want one badly, but haven't yet been able to justify buying one and starting new service with AT&T. Don't know if I will be able to but I'd like to say I'm strong enough to deny myself this excess...only time will tell there.

I've also run this idea of living in excess by people during the last week. I got mixed results. Some people agreed with me, others mostly agreed but had their own take on it. Unfortunately that was earlier last week so I can't remember anything about it now.

I guess it all comes down to balance. I truly believe life is all about balance. Well...life is about a lot of things but much of it comes down to balance. For those parts of life where we live in excess, we should try to balance those areas out with some frugality. Not to say this is the right rationalization for an iPhone, but if I go so excessive with my cell phone maybe I balance that out with driving my car less...or start using re-usable grocery bags at the supermarket...or getting more involved with the church and really, really giving back while finding my lost relationship with God. Maybe I can start right now...maybe I can start by making time throughout the day to pray...to pray the way my Father taught me to pray:

Our Father who art in Heaven...I like the sound of that. I really like the sound of that.

I'm no Carrie Bradshaw...

...but I do have style.

Everyone has their own style...whether it manifests in their fashion, music taste, personality or in their careers. We all have our own way ("my way") of doing things, or interpreting the things that happen around us. We all have style.

My style is complex and yet simple at the same time. Simultaneously easy & yet often painstakingly difficult. A large portion of my style is driven by my need for order. For everything to be in its accurate place or position...accurate of course being relative to the eyes of the beholder, which in this case is me. My need for this order is borderline OCD...that's how serious it is. Most of these internal needs for order are easy to control and rarely interfere with how I interact socially with everyone around me. For instance, I can always adjust the volume so that its at an even number or level or ensure all the bills of my change are faced before putting them in my wallet. My things also have their own specific places, and while its easy for me to remember and keep track of...its makes it very difficult for someone else to help because they do not know the order. So if you ever offer to help, and I correct you or insist you do it another way, its not because I'm not appreciative or because I think you're incapable of figuring it out on your own...its just that I have an ever pressing need for my things to be in my order.

So that's part of my style. The part you can't as easily identify when I'm walking down the street, or rocking out to my guitar hero mix on Erasto, my ipod, in Bellerophan, my car (yay names!!). Speaking of names, shout out to Feisty Hips (my friend, not the baseball superstar) for giving me a gentle nudge to get back to blogging. This blog is another place where my style is evident, but at the same time the way I approach each post, and construct what I want to say, and even the formatting...that's not as obvious.

Style. I could go on and on about my style and how style is everywhere, everyday, at any and every moment...but I won't. I could tell you how anal retentive I am about things being organized alphabetically, or how I like to start walking across the crosswalk right before it changes, or how if its not raining and I'm driving then the windows in the car are going to be down, or how I put a lot of effort into treating people with respect and trying like hell to always do the right thing...but that's for another time...or not.

Right now is for confession...for admitting and recognizing my mistakes and shortcomings. For as hard as I try to do the right thing, and not make mistakes...on my best day I probably still make 10-12 mistakes or wrong decisions. Most of us do. We're human. We're imperfect by design or by nature...depending on how you want to look at it. I don't like making mistakes. I really, really don't like making mistakes...mostly because I feel I have a pretty firm grasp on my immediate world and as such, feel I should be able to react and perform in an accurate manner. So accepting that I'm going to fail and be wrong just as much as I succeed (if not far more often) is still a work in progress...still my style: construction in progress.

Part of the ongoing construction is taking place Sunday mornings. For the first time since before I went away to college, I am looking forward to and making the time to go to church on Sunday mornings. Up until recently going to church wasn't a priority or even something mildly important...sleeping in or living it up on Saturday nights were far more important. Now though, I'm working the other things in my weekend around going to church. Now I fully admit that just going to church is only a starting point for a relationship with God. Just going to church isn't nearly enough...but its a good first step, and for me it was a big one.

In a previous post (sorry I don't much feel like searching for it right now), I commented how I felt a new person in my life was bringing me back closer to God. So far its been true. And I haven't started going back to church because she does, or because it will make me look good in her eyes, or anything like that. I'm going for me. Because I want to. Because I feel better starting the week after reflecting on what was said, sung and shown at church. Granted I was out of town and traveling back to Seattle this last weekend, but I didn't make it to church and so far I've not had the best week. Not to say there hasn't been good in my week thus far, but overall this has been a pretty bad week for me. Coincidence? Not so much.

So while I don't have the slightest clue as to how things are going play out in general, and specifically in my life, I do know that I'm going to continue to make an effort to keep rebuilding my relationship with God. Why? Because its important to me. I am going to do my best to act right, live selflessly and try not to rely on my own understanding and rationale. Its going to be tough, but I know I can do it because I want to. I really want to...and "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

OMFG!!

The M's are no longer the worst team in baseball...well I don't think we ever were but we've had the worst record for some time now but not anymore baby (haha...not with inward singing check it out...lol). After our win tonight and San Diego's loss, the Padres now own the worst record in baseball. Not us!!! Sweet! Plus I went to the game tonight, and while it was unreasonably muggy, the game was great and I got to see it with my dad, sister & brother. My dad had never been to Safeco before so I know it was a lot of fun for him. Apparently the M's are undefeated when any of them attend. 4-0 for my sister, 2-0 for Batman this season & now 1-0 for dad. It was great to see the game with them and great to finally see an M's win at home.

I really felt that Felix's home run in NYC (yes I was at that game and it ROCKED (more about that and my NYC trip soon I promise)) and taking two of three from the Mets was a turning point for the team. Since then they swept the Padres in San Diego and just took two of three from the Blue Jays at Safeco. I freaking love baseball.

Cubbies also won tonight too!!!

good stuff coming soon

sorry.

i know its been awhile since i've posted. i got some grief for this recently. i'm aware. i have started an entry on my trip to NYC that i hope to finish soon. i've been busy and/or hurt and/or its been too hot to do anything except sit in front of a fan. but i promise by week's end my NYC post will be up and maybe some other stuff too. maybe even Vegas pt. 3...which would just be amazing considering that's pushing six months now since i was there last.

:D

in the meantime here's a quick update: i joined a kickball league/team and our first game was this last sunday. had a blast but possibly pulled my right hamstring. it sucks. hard. its freaking ridiculously too hot right now. i'm a seattle area lifer so anything above 75 is too hot. above 85 is just mean. mean mean seattle weather. i mean i like it nice, but i also like to be able to enjoy it. damn sun. also i just finished my 6th punch card at prost! for anyone who cares/knows what that means.

ok time to pop some advil, ice up the hammy and go to bed. work tomorrow (but took today off to tend to the hammy and friday is the 4th of july so three day work week!!!).

jeah. go cubbies.

yogurt pants

This has not been my best pants week. Not sure that anyone has a "good pants week" but if there was ever a "bad pants week" then this would be it...for me anyway. On Monday I ripped a nice 12 inch hole in the back of my pants. See that here. Then today I decided to start my new "eating better" journey with some yogurt instead of a Stabucks Cherry Almond Scone (which is oh so delicious btw but apparently much worse for you than I thought...yikes).

I was excited because I enjoy yogurt, especially blackberry, or in this case marionberry (which is more or less the same thing). Now I've eaten plenty of yourt before and am aware that it likes to squirt out when you take off the top, so I was aware of that fact when I started to open my yogurt. I figured if I opened it slowly it would only produce a small projectile splurb of yogurt. Balls...I mean false (LOL). Instead it shot all over my black pants, and despite a quick run to the men's room to carefully wipe it off and attempt to prevent a stain from forming this is what I walked around with on my pants all day...

So this isn't the best picture, and I feverishly rubbed a wet paper towl over the stained area earlier in the day before I took this picture, but there were 8-12 highly visible little white spots on my upper right leg...pretty much just to the side of the zipper. Picture where that is. Yea. So it looked even worse than just a random stain on my pants. Maybe you don't follow...that's ok...it just means your mind isn't as dirty as mine. And that's ok.

At least there have been no pants incidents thus far today (knock on wood). And no other wardrobe mishaps of any kind (k.o.w. again). I also feel much better, health-wise, than I did yesterday. So hopefully the horrid tos de la muerte is on its way out of my body along with my pesky pants problems. Ha. Isn't alliteration fun? Yes. The answer is unequivocally yes.