#23

23. Consider this possibility:
a. Think about deceased TV star John Ritter.
b. Now, pretend Ritter had never become famous. Pretend he was never affected by the trappings of fame, and try to imagine what his personality would have been like.
c. Now, imagine that this person—the unfamous John Ritter—is a character in a situation comedy.
d. Now, you are also a character in this sitcom, and the unfamous John Ritter character is your sitcom father.
e. However, this sitcom is actually your real life.

In other words, you are living inside a sitcom: Everything about our life is a construction, featuring the unfamous John Ritter playing himself (in the role of your TV father). But this is not a sitcom. This is your real life.

Ok I considered that. I also was talking about John Ritter the other day with my boss. This is getting eerie. John Ritter seemed like a nice, funny, loving man. I think he'd be a great dad. What was the point of this "question"...? There is no question.

It's official and yet nothing has really changed...

I found out from my boss today that my team officially doesn't qualify for an assistant. This comes as no surprise to any of the three of us (me, Fred & Jason (father & son)), but up until this point we had not seen or heard anything to confirm what we already knew. So yes its now official but even though no "end date" has been given, I think that makes it worse. Before today we all knew, but without any official notice from the powers that be we could all keep on working like nothing was different...and as a result my imminent job loss was more distant. In reality nothing has changed, but finally getting the official word makes it so much more real and looming.

When all of the assistants heard about the review that would determine if we kept our jobs or not, we were angry but did our best to joke about it to put up a happier facade. Over the past few weeks we joked even more how the end of the month meant the end of our jobs. I do know that March 31st is not the end, but I still don't know know when that day is...and to be perfectly honest, its pissing me off something fierce.

Thankfully I have been actively seeking new employment so when my time here at the HLC ends, I will hopefully have something new to quickly transition into (boo ending a sentence with a preposition. oh well...wait...is 'into' a preposistion?...dangit...Natalie would know...but I don't think she'd answer her cell at work...frick). Unfortunately I don't have anything too promising lined up, and my two best leads for Boeing have fallen short of their initial promise, but I did get some helpful tips for getting passed their electronic submission process.

When you apply at Boeing you submit a resume, answer a few personal info questions, then you are "under consideration"...which basically means thanks for submitting your application, go screw yourself. No need to sugar coat anything here. You submit your stuff, then apparently it gets filtered electronically then gets passed along to a hiring manager. I'm not even sure if my applications have ever been seen by a real person, which makes it impossible to get hired. Luckily I've made contact with this guy who used to work for Boeing. He knows how the process works and how to "beef up" my resume to catch a real person's eye and then hopefully land an interview. I feel pretty confident that if I land an interview, I'll be a Boeing employee.

So those are my employment frustrations....both with how my current company is handling its decision to fire me (based solely on qualification guidelines) and how difficult it is to get passed the electronic sorting function of Boeing's application process.


...and speaking of work that's where I am right now, typing this. Ooooooooooooooooo. I know. Rebel. Suck it WaMu....or something. haHA! yea...if I was going to be here indefinitely I might start a recurring "adventures at the front desk" subdivision (what?!) to my blog, seeing as I cover the front once a week. Then again, its never all that exciting out here...that I can talk about :P

ooooooh...the plant lady is here right now tho. Flying solo today but I've seen her come with someone else. An assistant maybe...which is ridiculous because watering 12 office plants really requires at least a six person team (LOL). She shows up (probably on some regular interval but I haven't paid that much attention) to water and groom the plants. LOL. Yes, groom the plants. I thought they were all fake when I first got here but nope. By grooming I mean she picks off the dead leaves and dusts them or whatever. Makes them nice and pretty. OMG ROTFL. I can't take it seriously. She has this massive utility belt/work fanny pack thing around her waist to hold all her plant care gear. I kid you not. Spray bottles, rags, pouch for dead leaves, and whatever else she may need. Its actually funnier the more I think about it. I wonder how much she gets paid? I wonder if WaMu would pay me like $20 a week/month to water the plants as often as she does. Weak. I wonder if she costs too much so that's why I'm getting fired. Hope not...but it is WaMu so you never know...

At least my iced tea was everything I was hoping it would be.

One blog. Two blog? Three blog? Twelve.

I came across a nice treat today whlie looking at the blogs of note. One in particular is the "foodie" blog, but the author has another blog that I find fascinating because I've wanted to do something very similar for quite some time now. Over the past few years I go through quick spurts where I have this very strong urge to find, purchase & being using a Polaroid camera. I don't even know if you can buy new ones anymore. And I'm sure finding film isn't terribly easy or cheap...but then again I've not done a ton of research. I just get these intense, but fleeting urges to Polaroid it up. Probably not going to happen soon (seeing as I'm getting a one week paycheck this friday instead of the normal two weeks bc I'm some kind of stupid and forgot to enter the 2nd week...unreal) but I would really like to get my hands on a fully functioning Polaroid and, as Rob & Big would say, "do work!"

Maybe starting my photographic Polaroid journey would solve this, but I've also had this urge to a running motif in my blog. Something like "(thing) of the day/week/ month/etc," but nothing has grabbed me yet. I've seen some clever ideas, like a blog devoted entirely to what's in the blogger's pockets at the end of the day/when they sit down to blog...or the daily haiku blog...or the foodie blog that includes a "drink of the week" as part of her ongoing efforts to becoming a foodie (which she clearly already is but meh).

Based on my posting history, and knowing my own limitations, I don't think a daily diddy is going to happen, but I do rather like the idea of "(insert great idea here) of the week." I did have the idea to start an "at work" blog in which I would only post at work and/or post about things that happened at work...where it happened to me, or someone else, or whatever. That could be pretty entertaining. Today's entry might look something like this...

As usual Ben came over to take his 10 shots on my nerf hoop, and (unfortunately) as usual did significantly better than I did....Ben: 9/10, Self: 5/10....what was much more fun and new (but hopefully a recurring thing) was our rendition of the game "horse," which we called Whoo hoo (in honor of WaMu's new stupid slogan...and so we could joke that it was a "work function." lol.) Not sure why that idea never came to be until now....but seeing as there are no loans to acquire, maintenance, board, fund, or even watch get screwed up by processing, we have more time to goof off. Anyway...it was a lot of fun and I ended up winning "Whoo hoo" to "Whoo ho." Yep. I'm a Whoo ho but a winner nonetheless.

Maybe I'll start a blog based on the games I play at work. Whoa. (that one's for you Pomona :D) Then again I'm not sure I'll find another job that will allow me to have a nerf basketball hoop at my desk...I guess we'll wait and see.

Nike has it right...

You all know what I mean by that. You have to...right? We've all spent the last 10-15 years in front of the tv, surfing the web, driving passed giant billboards & being bombarded with everything from miracle diet pills to Nike shoes that sync with your i-pod to do something ridiculously awesome. The world is in a perpetual media frenzy and we're just lucky enough to make it through the day without going crazy and ending up on CNN in a white Bronco speeding down a California highway...and that's a little extreme...and, as is often the case with me, I am digressing from my point.

If you clicked on that Nike link you weren't sent to a fancy flash website with professional athletes modeling the latest in sports fashion and oozing with disgusting amounts of sex appeal and cool. Instead you were sent to a lesser known Nike website...that of its origin. Nike was a Greek goddess who symbolized triumph and who's name literally translates to victory.

And you thought they were just a shoe company with a strange, but cool name. Ha.

So what does an ancient Greek goddess have to do with all of this? With me? Not much actually, other than what she stood for is cleverly embodied in Nike's most famous slogan: Just do it.

Indeed.

My roommate left for Europe on Friday morning and that has left me plenty of time to let my mind wander (yea [its] the wanderer....[it] goes around, around, around...). And again, as is quite typical with me, recent movie views have triggered my neural synapses (whoa...science!) to open the floodgates of thought. Maybe I'm editorializing this too much....nah!....ok maybe just a little. :)

I watched Martian Child, which was outstanding, and Just Friends, which isn't on par with the first (at least not intellectually) but funny nonetheless. In Martian Child, some of the more prevalent motifs are "never give up", "be yourself", and "its never too late to tell someone how much they mean to you." Oddly enough Just Friends has the same thematic elements but presents them in a more comedic fashion, where Martian Child uses snippets of comedy to wonderfully offset the intense drama and serious tone of the film.

How does this relate to me? Wait...me? As in "me" the person who reads this or "me" as in the person typing this? Huh? (Here's a hint: either one works fine)

I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I know that I am constantly bargaining and making deals with myself...."after I eat this frozen pizza for dinner, I'm going to start eating healthier" or "as soon as the weather gets nicer I'll be more active" or "today I'm going to actually call people at work and try to bring in more business." Any of those ring true? They may not, but I bet you have your own inner barrage of compromises and procrastination. Or sometimes its not so personal and private...and you continue to promise an update on a trip to Vegas that happened over two months ago now. :P

Many things led me to really start thinking about how often this happens....including my looming termination of employment....which has forced me to start looking for new jobs and ponder that infamous "What is one of your weaknesses and how are working to turn that into a strength?" interview question. What a bunch of crap. I was just thinking what a stupid question that is, and how it would be so great to say that when asked the question. I am full of weaknesses and areas that need work. We all are. If we answered that question with full honesty, we wouldn't get hired 90% of the time. What are my weaknesses? I'm not a morning person, so I tend to be a few minutes late....I tend to do the bare minimum, just enough to keep everyone happy but never really striving for more....I like to create elaborate excuses (aka lies) for why certain things don't get done, or why certain results weren't achieved, or why I simply didn't make it into work today. YIKES!!! That's not going to get me hired anywhere. No instead they want to hear some bull**** line about how "I tend to pay too much attention to the details, so I'm learning to still be detailed oriented but combining that with effective time management." Congratulations we'd like to offer you the position....you liar.

Bringing this all back to me and why I felt to compelled to express all this at 12:28 in the morning instead of going to sleep...so I can wake up on time and get to work on time (damnit, I'm a hypocrite!).

So....?

So...I don't know what I want to do with my life, as far as my professional career is concerned...and I'm ok with that fact. Knowing what you want to do with your life is great. Getting to do what you want to is fantastic. Knowing you are doing what you want to do, and absolutely loving it is amazing. For now though, not knowing is good enough....because I know that while I wander aimlessly through the corporate jungle of business & finance I'm going to surround myself with people I love....and that is phenomenal. In Martian Child, John Cusack's character says something to the effect of "...weird is reaching out to someone, expecting nothing in return, but simply doing it because you care." I just butchered the line but think I was able to at least capture the essence of what he was trying to say.

So here I sit (haha I'm not standing), not knowing exactly what I want to do with my life...but find myself strangely content with that idea (at least for the time being) because I know with absolute certainty, who I want in my life....and its quite the lengthy list because I've managed to meet some extraordinary people....not extraordinary in what they've done (though I know a few of those too) but more so with who they are. I do a terrible job of keeping in touch with people, and letting them know how much I care...or at least I feel I don't do it enough. So while I may continue to barter within myself for that extra scoop of ice cream, I am going to fight like hell (inside myself, mind you) to keep my friends close, and my family (and "family" :D) even closer.

Oddly enough its that (now infamous) third night in Vegas that I am thinking of right now. Someone I had recently met for the first time was asking me about my tattoo and if it had any special significance. I told her each of the four letters stood for the first names of my mother, father, sister & brother...my family. She commented on how nice or special that was, and I remember (very clearly) saying..."well they're all I have." Not to say I don't have plenty of other wonderful things in my life, because I do and am forever grateful. What I meant was so much in life is fleeting and temporary, but you will always have your family...however that manifests for you....whether its a mother, father & siblings or your children or close friends or a pet....your family is whatever makes you feel safe, happy & strong and that is something that you can never lose.

When you don't sleep enough your eyes play tricks with your head...

Now wouldn't that be an interesting idea for a blog...it would also be hell to endure...but I got $20 that says it would be an entertaining read. Too bad for you that same $20 says there's no way in hell I'd ever start such a "journey." Not sleeping is a bad idea. I've done it a few times. Never more than two days, but believe me that was plenty. I've heard after 72 hours your brain/body start shutting down on you...or at least start heavily demanding sleep. I bring all this up because my weekend looked like this:

-Friday night: leave work early bc the bosses were both at a meeting that was running extremely late down in Burien or Renton or somewhere south...so when one called to have me shut down his computer I took that as leaving early would be jsut fine. Too bad I can't remember what else I did. I feel like I went and did something...no I don't think I did. Stayed up until 4am though.

-Saturday afternoon: get up around 2pm. Yikes. I knew I was screwed that night. Not gonna be able to sleep at any kind of a resonable hour. Damnit. Roommate was gone when I got up so I just chilled at home. Played lots of XBOX and was basically worthless. Later on, around what I thought was 2am, my friend Shannon calls. Haven't talked to her in a few months and it was real late so I was like...wtf? She didn't sound drunk but she must have been. Here's what that conversation looked like (her responses in italics):

"Hey Shannon, what's up?"

"Not much, what are you up to?"

"Just chillin at home....'bout to watch a movie. Why aren't you asleep?"

"Its Saturday night...and its not that late?

"Its almost 2am."

"You mean 3am?"

"Damnit. I forgot about day light savings. Now its even later...why are you still up?"

"Yea it is....I always stay up for day light savings. You gotta do it."

"Haha. Sure...that's why I'm still up."

"You aren't giving very detailed responses."

"You aren't asking very intricate questions."

***lost connection***

It was very strange. Oh well. Bad reception on the cell at home. Watch a movie (Monster's Inc....so good) and then after checking email/facebook/mysapce it was nearly 5am. DAMN!

-Sunday morning: force myself to get up (actually set my freaking alarm clock on the weekend...I hate when I have to do that) so that I could get to sleep at a decent hour for work the next morning. So five hours or so of sleep. After 10 the night before, you'd think 7.5 average for the two nights would be enough. Nope. Watched some basketball, played some more XBOX, went to the Thunderbirds hockey game with Sizer & Diesel. Good times. Randomly ran into some old family friends from church, Devin & Greg Bjorn. It was strange. Greg is all grown up now. It was cool though. Chatted for a bit then continued on our ways. Also saw Kyle Paulsen. He's all grown up too...he's the younger brother of a good friend of mine from way back in the day...like preschool. What?!? He's also the youngest of two (Lisa being the oldest and my way old friend) children of my dentist. Strange, huh? Went back home and played some Grif Ball on Halo 3. Sweet new game mode. I won't go into too much detail bc if you have Halo, you've played, if you don't...then you probably don't care :) Played some other XBOX games then managed to get to bed around 3:30 in the FREAKING MORNING. Usually get up ar 6:30am for work. Yikes!!! Slept in until about 8:05 and after waiting forever for the bus got to work around 9:50, which is only about an hour and a half late (8:30 start time). Meh. Bosses were like....we didn't see you but now you're here....ok good. Still left (whoa this blog will be dated for before when I left work but I'm finishing it up a day later...SHA-ZAM!)

I gotta stop starting posts then finishing them up days...or even weeks after the fact. Makes it impossible to regain that train of thought from the original post. I even left myself little notes and subjects to talk about when I revisited this entry but it doesn't help too much now. Oh well. Doesn't make much sense to jump into anything current either, so how about we just wrap this up and start a new post....that I probably won't finish until April...or August?

:P